I do not think babies should be banned from planes like some cranky fliers have suggested. On short flights, I am extremely tolerant of screaming infants, recalling my own domestic flights with babies. It’s the eight-plus hour overnight flights with screaming infants that make me grateful for earplugs and the diminished hearing that comes with age. Unfortunately, my hearing seems to have become more acute in the range of baby screams.

I sympathize with parents of babies on planes, and I try my best to be reseated. I trust that the parents have done all they can to minimize the child’s trauma and that humanity can accept the fact that babies cry, sometimes for ten hours within three feet of trapped adults. If humanity can accept it, so must I.

All I ask is a dose of realism. One totally self-obsessed mom of the cutest little baby this side of the angels wrote to a major paper with her solution to her screaming baby on overnight flights. “I just dress her in her most adorable outfit, and she is just so cute nobody minds.”

Honey Pie, we mind. We want to shove that adorable little outfit down her precious little throat. After five hours, if it were not for the drink cart, we would be begging the pilot to put the kid in the luggage bay.



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