(this is a leftover from India, where it would not have been PC to post it — or inconvenient if I had been evicted)

I knew it.

I knew it when I requested that my room in India contain “a toaster.”

I knew that a facility that can host and feed up to 100 people would have only one toaster. The accounting books, no doubt, show that four were purchased for the facility. Three walked off with various extended family members following the three extra hair dryers, most of the paint and cement, and all the good furnishings and appliances – replaced with the old furnishings and appliances of the extended family.

But I like toast.

The toaster was dutifully placed in my room. Roaches and all. Do you know that roaches can survive an extended jolt of 220 current? The searing heat makes them multiply like water on Gremlins. 

But I let the toaster sit on my table, hoping the roaches would find a more attractive roommate.

Instead, the toaster’s absence caused a tempest in the kitchen.

Someone wanted the toaster (whatever for?) while I was away with Vasanti on some nefarious mission such as visiting a rival charity. The maid claimed that she had tried to retrieve the toaster, but Vasanti, who was 50 kilometers away at the time, had told her to her face that she couldn’t have it.

The accuser was intent on being believed. The accused was in tears. I was called as a witness for the defense. We prevailed.

Later, and quietly, I returned the toaster to the kitchen.

And that’s how I got rid of the roaches.


2 Responses to “TOASTER”

  1. LaVerne Says:

    How do you know those roaches didn’t migrate? Well, I’m sure they did not, as your toaster sounded more electrifying than any other place.

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