This word lasted for less than a year (1862) and its demise is an example of American good manners. Hymn singing by the vocally challenged must be endured without wincing; their accompanists as well.

During every church program, hymns lie twitching on the floor; but all we see are angelic faces of the children’s choir and the pianist’s stalwart efforts to stay on the same page if not in the same hymnal.

The concept of hymnicide never entered my brain, never mind that –given our abysmal voices — my natal family felt obligated to lip synch at church. I taught my children how to lip synch as well — a socially responsible act like recycling and driving on the right side of the road.

This morning, I witnessed mass hymnicide. Our daily staff hymns were never dulcet, but after four years I am accustomed to birds dropping off electrical wires while we splatter-gun praise songs. This morning, while we were “gathered at the river (reeve AYE her),” the India Bible Conference gathered downstairs to add about a million decibels of something arrhythmic in Marathi. Across the street, a band was in full plaster-cracking discord to celebrate a Hindu groom’s arrival at his wedding. When silence finally descended, a lone cow mooed plaintively.

 Actually, it was me.


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One Response to “HYMNICIDE”

  1. gribov Says:

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